Hostile Heroes

It's possible that after this post you'll think less of me, but less is more, right? Okay, probably the person who came up with that saying didn't mean for it to be used in a case such as this, but as a modern American, I've decided to apply for my right to use words out of context in order to feel more a part of my generation. So here goes.

I enjoy the spectacle of passive aggressive hostility. In fact, not only do I enjoy it, I envy those that are able to successfully employ it.

Mind you, I'm not a huge fan of this kind of behavior when it's directed at me. I know what you're thinking: who could ever be angry with Kari? Hard to believe, I know, and yes, it's a rare occurrence, but every once in a while I manage to tick off someone in my close proximity. When this happens, I'm rarely confronted by the person who has taken issue, but I can feel their subtle anger. My coping mechanism? Avoidance. I simply wait it out. Maybe not the most mature course of action, especially when an apology is in order, but it's always worked for me.

However, on the flip side, I must say that I've never been able to hold a silent grudge efficiently enough to make any lasting impact on the offending party. The problem is I've never been mad enough at anyone to remember why I'm mad at them in the first place. Last year I dated this guy for a couple months, and he did some things that made me feel angry and hurt. I stopped talking to him for a week, and when I did tell him what was wrong, it was over the phone. I knew that if I talked to him in person, the concern in his eyes would make me forget why I was angry. You see, I wasn't even really that upset, I just knew that due to his behavior towards me I was supposed to be upset. So I wrote a list entitled "The Reasons I'm Mad At You" and brought them up one by one during our phone conversation. Lame, yes, but I honestly am incapable of holding offences against people for longer than a day, and often that includes even a clear memory of the offence.

That's why I stand in awe of people who are capable of becoming so intensely angry they loudly confront the object of their anger. Even more impressive are those that avoid direct confrontation in order to inflict their wrath subtly.

This morning there was an incident at work, and one of the guys in our shop feels he was unjustly yelled at for something that wasn't his fault. Rather than yell back, or attempt to explain that he is not responsible for the problem he is being blamed for, he remained completely silent throughout the verbal carnage. I'm positive that the accuser will be sorry for the things he said when he realizes the way in which the accused handles this type of thing. The payback has already begun. The wronged man will do everything within his power to make the confronter's job something to be dreaded. Already he has gone around undoing the courteous things he had done to benefit his coworker, from this day forth prepared to help him with only the bare minimum required. No one would want to have this man for an enemy. Considering what I know about him, I'm pretty sure he's never let go of a grudge in his life.

I guess I shouldn't be enjoying the gruesome updates on this matter, but I can't help it. I'm so impressed by both of them that my respect for each has grown. I applaud the confronter for his boldness. I cheer for the passive aggressive for his revengeful determination. To me they're not petty men, but heroes.